i watch the pole dance of the stars.

20051101 1:12:00 PM:

die zwischenprüfung habe ich nicht bestanden, aber das ist okei. ich war einfach nicht vorbereitet und ich würde lieber mit einer sehr guten note bestehen, als gerade-noch-so durchzukommen. imerhin hat stefan eine 1,3. hat mich überrascht, aber er hat sie auf jeden fall verdient. :) - und das sollte mich schon anspornen!
obwohl ich erst seit letze woche montag wieder in düsseldorf bin, fahre ich übermorgen wieder für 5 tage nach hause. in letzter zeit bin ich gerne zu hause. und das nicht mal NUR wegen wow, obwohl ir das viele leute vorwerfen und es bestimt dazu beträgt. ich vermisse aber auch meine katzen, einen bruder und manchmal sogar meine eltern. :) außerdem läuft es zwischenmanschlich auch hier in düsseldorf so viel besser, wenn ich öfter einfach nicht hier bin. (das bezieht sich jetzt natürlich hauptsächlich auf stefan, da ich sonst nicht viel mit leuten unternehme...) ich brauche dann etwas weniger aufmerksamkeit und lasse mich nicht von allem runterziehen, weil ich den halt, den ich brauche einfach zu hause finde.
gestern war ich mit stefan in oberhausen um für ihn schuhe zu kaufen. das war ziemlich anstrengend, aber amüsant. ich kann mich fast gar nicht mehr dran erinnern, wie es war, als wir diesen stress hatten, weil alles wieder so relaxt wie zu anfang ist. natürlich ist das schön; wer steht schon auf stress und spannungen? :)
internet interessiert mich zur zeit nur sehr periphär. ich frage mich, ob das ein fortschritt ist...

20051014 7:15:00 PM:

yesterday i had my japanese intermediate exam. i wasn't prepared well and i hope i won't pass. this way i could take the exam again and be better prepared. unfortunately the language part of the exam was too easy. :P
apart from that i had quite a nice week. stefan and me went to the library together to study everyday and afterwards we finished the evening off with a couple of beers. :) having beer in a nice atmosphere with nice company is something i really miss at home. even if world of warcraft sure rids me of that need. haha. (and i guess that's why i like wow so much.)
i came back to duesseldorf on monday, but i'm already going back home tomorrow. in fact i feel sort of bad about that, because i'm not really sure what the reasons for my going back home this early are. *cough* - but i openly addmit to being happily addicted to world of warcraft though. :)
my 1st character tristana is lvl36 now. soon she will get her mount and she will look beautiful on it. :D plus, she gets to wear mail armour then. - also i created a new character which is a horde character this time. she's lvl15, if i remember correctly. (enough wow babble, i assume.)
this week i compiled a nice timetable for this semester, i plan on attending linguistics classes for real too this time. i wasted far too much time already.
besides my japanese teacher got me a new japanese language exchange person. i hope she's pretty. and nice. :)

20050926 7:27:00 PM:

thanks everyone for your comments. :) a very special thank you goes to janita for all the love and loyality! ♥ thank you so much. (you know why!) - everyone should have a person like her in their life!

it's been a while again since my last post. sometimes i just don't know what to write about. not only because there's nothing to write about; at times there's plenty to write about but i just can't seem to express myself.

i have been back in duesseldorf for a week now, trying to prepare for my japanese zwischenprüfung ("intermediate exam"). but i cannot concentrate on studying. i think i won't pass that exam. to be honest i don't even want to take it. but i really can't waste anymore time. on thursday (if not earlier) i'm going back to my parents' for a couple of days. i don't feel half as bad doing nothing while i'm there. (i think the explanation for that is easy: surrounded by my family i feel a lot less grown-up and it doesn't feel like i have to be responsible. - i don't even feel sexual needs in that house!) and i can eventually play world of warcraft again. ♥ - after i got addicted to it, i suddenly remembered julia mentioning it back in april. :) so if anyone who plays on the german realm AMAN'THUL stumbles upon this blog, say hello to tristana. (preferably you should write her a letter.) she is a lvl 27 night elf hunter. :)

ANYWAY: who reads this blog regularly? (regular reading without regular posting? uhm... well.) i am not sure how much purpose this blog has...

20050825 8:12:00 PM:

i think my kitty carlos is sick again. :( he had a fever 3 weeks ago and for a couple of days he has been gagging all the time... tomorrow we will take him to the vet again. i hope there's nothing wrong with him. but i'm quite worried though. i really love him. - and i love my new baby kitty paula. :D you can see pictures of both of them at my picture journal: (01) (02) (03) (04) aren't they just amazingly sweet? ♥
i am at my parents' now. i'm going back to duesseldorf in 3 weeks probably. i'll have my japanese intermediate exams in october. i'm scared. and in a way i keep thinking about dropping out... i won't do it as long as i don't have to, but i'm not sure where this situation takes me.

i hate how my father keeps demonstrating how little he respects my mother. i don't know what's wrong with him. and i hate especially how much of him i find in myself. i don't like that.
at the moment my mother is taking care of our neighbour who is over 70 and who is going to die of leukaemia within the next days. since she doesn't really have a close family she used to spend christmas with us eversince and she was like my grandaunt. i never really liked her but it's sad when people die from diseases though. :( - i'm sorry for my mother too, because she's such a friendly and social person, she is doing so much for others, including me. i don't think she ever really lives.

edit my posts must be psychologically interesting. every paragraph/almost every sentence starts with "i". haha.

20050721 6:44:00 PM:

i don't feel mentally well today and still i'm going out. usually this isn't a good combination. but i'm also lonely. - there aren't many people here that i feel comfortable around... and i know i spend more time with my favourite person to spend time with than his girlfriend so i probably shouldn't complain about that. but in fact i need far more attention than a human person could (be willing to) give me. i can never be content. it's sad. i want to be a more simple person. simplicity is happiness!
the studying for the japanese exam is pretty tough. while studying i come across more and more things i still need to learn. this is very frustrating! at least i do have my bright moments too and some things about studying go rather smoothly. :)

20050719 7:31:00 AM:

i miss my pretty kitty and last night i didn't have to sleep on the floor. :)

20050712 8:11:00 PM:

yesterday was a nice day. eventhough i was really tired because i couldn't go to bed on sunday, so i had only slept for 3 hours. then the 3hours train ride back to duesseldorf exhausted me even more. i met with stefan at university and we studied until the history seminar. (actually i kept dozing off while studying, so you can't really call it "studying".) i hate the history seminar, because there are far too many presentations by students. it doesn't really feel like a proper seminar, more like a colloquium. so i continued with choke by chuck palahniuk, that delfin lent me. he writes so well. i love to fall in love with words. especially when the story behind them isn't bad either.
i spent the evening at stefan's place again, we had a couple of beers (mine tasted like blood, which was a bit disgusting) and had fun with japanese vocabulary. for soe weird reason there was no tram back home from bilk station, so i had to walk the rest and couldn't go to bed before 2am. of course i overslept today.
so i bought an alarm clock! my new mobile has a really shitty alarm clock that doesn't wake me up in the least! now i have a traditional radio alarm clock that i put in the kitchen so i must get up to switch it off. :) - i also bought antics by interpol. i felt bad for loving them so much without owning their albums. and i didn't even have spare money... so i'm broke again and i have no idea how to tell my parents. argh!
today wasn't as successful because the lack of sleep eventually shows. i couldn't do much but finish a letter to dear ilaria and finally buy new toilet paper...

politics test the day after tomorrow.

i made a photo journal. posting pictures here on my blog kills the layout.

i'm listening to tori amos again. she's so great. pop music can be special. ♥
DEFINITELY!

20050709 9:56:00 PM:

my second interpol concert was amazing. :) it was wonderful! - we were in the front row, so we had a really good view of the stage. i cannot really say much about the concert without sounding like a moron. i'll just say that i'm all in love with interpol. ♥
delfi (and me) took really nice photos with her digicam, that i smuggled into the hall officially. :) we were amongst the first in front of the hall and a girl frisked me and found the camera in my pocket, but she let me keep it! :)

delfi left today. we were a little late again for her train and she couldn't buy a ticket, so i hope she made it back home without any problems. :X
i got a new mobile which is my brother's old one - a sony ericsson t610. i think it was high time to get rid of my nokia3210. haha. now i have interpol midis as ringtones. :)
i'm looking forward to going back to ddorf on monday. - only on monday! but my mother won't let me go tomorrow because she thinks we haven't spend enough time together this week. - i hope i get to study politics on monday though, because the test is on thursday and i know nothing about japanese politics...!
edit: i simply have to say how hot carlos (the bassist) is! AH!! ♥